Things I've learned in Korea, so far:

   As I approach the halfway mark of my time in South Korea, I realized today that I'm not the same person that first scrawled into my journal. The prospect of being alone no longer scares me, in the sense of not being around someone all the time. Being a friendly person, I think it's good that I have channeled the amazing benefits of alone time. And mastered the art of meditaoon. Okay... Mastered is a stretch. There are a lot of things that I have learned, and I'm really proud of myself for my progress and confidence that I have obtained in this not so easy journey.

     First, I realize that Michelle was right when she told me to befriend a tall man. It's not that women always need protection, I'm more than capable of emitting a loud scream to travel all the way back to the US, and as my brother can attest, I've never been afraid of using the knee to the groin approach ( sorry about those younger years, Luke). But, I have felt more comfortable when I have had a guy around. Just last night I was able to get away from an older white American man who didn't seem to understand that I was not a toy. I went to my friends, they created a circle around me, and we left within ten minutes.. Something that might not have happened with just females. I often forget I'm only 18. No one seems to get that 18 year olds sometimes travel. I get mistaken for 21-23, and though this is a compliment to my maturity.. Or at least I take it as one, it often puts me in situations that I have no yet had to go through. I have learned how to set very strong boundaries with boys, tell them to ( in much more polite words than I use) "get lost", and not be afraid to ask for help before I need it.

     Korea has also had a way to smash down my self esteem, and the build it up again in a more wholesome manner. I used to think that one of my strongest attributes was the fact that I was pretty.. This often blinded me from accessing my other attributes. I have been struggling with the idea that I was smart enough to do what I wanted to do in life, and Korea has made this no longer a fear of mine... If I can read a new script ( slowly, but I can read it), understand most of conversations, and speak enough to get by, while being in a constant adaptive state, then I believe I can do just about anything. Before Korea, dads death was the hardest thing I ever went through, and though I felt very confident in my ability to adapt after that, I have to admit I wasn't ready for how exhausted I would be everyday from always adapting... Sleep habits, diet, language, location, friends.. It's been tough.

   Another thing Korea has helped me do is be more present in the moment. Even though wifi is everywhere, and I do have a cellphone, I don't have a Korean phone and rely on wifi for communication. Often this means I go a couple hours without having my fingers rapidly typing away on a tiny screen... I think it's a good change of pace, I've been able to watch the locals and pick up some of their mannerisms so that I don't disturb their culture. I have been able to find small moment very amusing, and I've also utilized this time without wifi to study ( on trains and buses). Korea has helped me learn how to study.

     Though I lack confidence in my complete speaking ability, I am getting better. And though I lack a sense of direction in subways, I'm not afraid to try to tackle the metrosystem. I was able to show one of my friends around Jongno, insadong, and gangnam the other day. It was cool to feel like I know an area well enough to explain why it's important, what it's used for, when it's fun to go there, and any history of the location, as well as being able to suggest other places to check out in Seoul, next time.

    I have also learned that if you want something done, and you can't do it yourself and HAVE to have someone else do it for you, it is okay to push for it and remind them why you need to have something done until the task is complete. After 3 months of nagging mr. Kim, Friday is my last day at gangnam YMCA. Another reminder to not stop trying. I will have a week off to go explore Seoul by myself. I'm going to utilize this time to go hike up mountains, practice my Korean, and go see parts of Seoul that I didn't get to see before. And maybe I'll go take a few day trip to busan. You never know.

       Being away from home always makes you feel like you've lost contact with some old friends. However I have barely experienced this while being in Korea, makes me feel very fortunate for the friends that I have. I also have received two amazing care packages.  One from Erin, my moms friend, that was so on point to everything I love and use when I'm sad- honey, tea, chocolate, and a beautiful new necklace to replace my bee necklace I got for my birthday. And mom sent me lucky charms, sour candy, and various other goodies that remind me just how loved I am. I hope that I give that much love and encouragement to others. My email got hacked.. So if you have emailed me.. I'm sorry. I can't retrieve it until I get back to the states. But rhysewilliams6295@gmail is still working and the best way to contact me. I would love emails with addresses so I can send out postcards. After a couple failed attempts, I finally have my needs from the Korean post office, met.

   I'm doing a lot better, and though it was a struggle at first, moving in with the host family has been amazing for me. All my love to all of you.